Today I am thankful for:
’sun sun sun, here it comes’ -
hot chocolate and future house dreaming -
bare feet in grass -
soft little purring kitten curled up in sunshine -
the smell of fresh-cut grass -
random spontaneous Biblical discussions and learning things I didn’t know before -
early dismissal
I am tired tired tired and life is still lovely lovely lovely. Haircut tomorrow, I am so ready. There is a cute quiet boy with a cute laugh who has helped me twice now but he seems ashamed of feelings, and I don’t like that. I shouldn’t judge people so quickly I know and I’m trying not to, but you know it’s hard when everyone puts on these faces that don’t belong to them, or at least don’t seem to fit them and they go around doing this and saying that and then suddenly they change. Drastic change and you’re thrown all off-balance and it would just be really nice to stand on solid ground again. Ha anyway what I meant to say was, I like his laugh and his voice is soothing. That’s all.
Also Ashton drove me back from psych today and came in to visit Miranda and she’s very cute. She’s terrified of me walking back to the dorm by myself because I might get lost or run over by a car or something, makes me laugh. 
And it’s been sunny sunny and gorgeous and I’ve been singing The Beatles and I wanted to go out and lie in the grass today, but Miranda had a migraine and I do nothing alone. But we did go barefoot exploring last night and were nearly attacked by a giant-sounding dog and found a mysterious place and nearly got run over by a car. Oh so fun. And my birthday is Wednesday and my present list ended up being rather long but really, all I want are moccasins and fairytales and Francesca Lia Block. And a moleskine notebook, but I think that will be my present to myself.
The rest is a cross-post from Xanga. I’m exhausted and ready to collapse into bed for a good twelve-hour sleep. Ha.
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Today the best friend and I spent time dreaming about our future homes, the perfect ones we might never have but will always want. Hers is a cabin, just a simple cabin with not even a bed. She wants only a sleeping bag, and a very big bathtub and a very big yard. Trees and a flat roof for sleeping on warm nights and a trampoline. And a loft and a desk for writing.
I’m going to live in a cottage, no longer do I want my three-story masterpiece. Just a cottage, with a porch and a porch swing, windchimes and a door-knocker (or maybe just a doorbell that chimes instead of dings). I want a flower garden and a birdbath and a birdfeeder, good strong climbing trees and a gate with honeysuckle. Inside there will be soft greens and yellows, a piano and a big chiming clock. I want lots of windows, big windows to let in plenty of sun and a window seat for daydreaming and reading, a couch and a soft little kitten to curl up on it. I want a four-poster bed in the bedroom and art on the walls, plants everywhere and a little kitchen with a coffee-maker so I can make my own instead of always drinking instant. I will have a big old-fashioned desk with the elaborate drawer-handles and a typewriter, little shag rugs everywhere and seashells in the bathroom. There will be Alice in Wonderland-style tea-parties in the garden and I will have bookshelves, bookshelves everywhere and an entire library of books all around me.
And maybe, someday, I will have a boy who will wake up with me in the mornings, stretch sleepy-eyed and be just as excited to greet the day as I am. A boy who likes to bask in the sunshine and drink coffee with The Shins, who will spend hours reading aloud from the oldest and heaviest books. A boy who loves poetry and finds it in the simple movement of a hand, the simple sound of an in-drawn breath. Someone who doesn’t care if we have a television and who doesn’t mind that our home will never be filled with the patter of little feet or the sound of childish laughter.
This is my paradise, what’s yours? What’s your dream home like? Who do you want to share it?
